Life In The Fast Lane

I have only one speed...FAST.

Sometimes it's GOOD to be fast. Like when you are walking barefoot on hot coals or shards of glass. Sometimes it's BAD to be fast. Like when you are removing a brain tumor. Obviously, I don’t do any of these things very often (thank GOD). I do, however, discover speed bumps in unfamiliar neighborhoods where fast is BAD. I use the self-checkout lanes in Walmart where fast is GOOD.

When you are driving your husband to the hospital because he cut his arm off with a chainsaw (like you KNEW he would) fast is REALLY GOOD.When you are collecting dinner plates after (during) dinner (oh sorry, that was just your second bite?), fast is ANNOYINGLY BAD . In a photo shoot with your untrained, hyperactive, out of control boxer dog, fast is IMPERATIVE.

Like speed, there are very few things in life that are all good all the time or all bad all the time. Hot Krispy Kremes, all good all the time. An hour of Mountain Men on The History Channel, there is NEVER anything good about that. But for damn near every other person, place, thing, act, thought or feeling, what is good and what is bad---it is all according. It is completely nuts to say oh "I'm a good person and they are a bad person" or "I should be canonized as a saint and they should rot in hell" because we all oscillate between saint and sinner according to whatever is going on inside or around us.

Understanding that a thing can be both good AND bad is easier when it’s applied to an abstract concept (like speed). But it is difficult when we are talking about people (like the assholes hate, the heros we adore) and it is the hardest when we are talking about ourselves.

Sometimes I am nice.

Sometimes I am a bitch from hell.

It's all according.

MHC

16 June 2020